Today’s author is Prince of Peace’s Intentional Interim, Pr. Steve Sylvester.
“Jesus said to [the man whose son was suffering], ‘…All things can be done for the one who believes.’ …The father of the child cried out, ‘I believe; help my unbelief!’” (Mark 9:23-24)
Schrodinger’s Cat is getting a lot of play these days, but a cat that is alive and dead at the same time is nonsensical in an era of binary options in which something is Good OR Bad, people are Male OR Female, a deed is Right OR Wrong, etc. Similarly, we have a hard time understanding a man who believed Jesus’ words, but pleaded for Jesus to help him with his unbelief. The opening verses of Paul’s 2nd Letter to Timothy is equally confusing.
Paul writes to a young (perhaps? We are not certain) man of sincere faith, a faith that “lived first” in his grandmother and his mother before being handed on to him. But it seems that the purpose of Paul’s letter is to bolster Timothy’s faith, a faith that Paul praises as “sincere”. At one point he even encourages Timothy to “rekindle” his faith (this is what I believe Paul is referring to when he writes of “the gift of God that is within you through the laying on of my hands”).
So, confusing? Misleading? Or simply human? I’m going with door #3. Uncertainty is human. Doubt is human. But you know what else is human? Belief. Belief is human. We think it’s not, because we cannot understand how doubt and belief can coexist, and not just in the same person, but at the same instant and in the same context. We believe the presence of one means the absence of the other, so if belief is not “complete,” if belief does not banish doubt entirely it’s illegitimate, a sham. This makes sense logically, of course, but it belies the human experience from Mary to Thomas to Paul to Timothy to Luther, etc. The great heroes of the faith were never able to outrun their doubts. Thankfully, fellow believers/doubters held them in prayer and God held them fast.
If Timothy had not believed, Paul would not have put a community of Christians in his care. But Paul wrote letters of encouragement to his friend because he knew how intertwined doubt and belief were. So, Paul urged Timothy to “guard the good deposit entrusted to [him].” And in thus urging Timothy, he acknowledged that this was possible only “with the help of the Holy Spirit living in us.”
I can’t say that I understand this. But I believe it. Mostly. I think. And as my doubt and belief wrestle in the mud, I depend on God to hold me fast, to believe for me when I can’t rekindle my own faith. And remember that while our belief can sometimes calm our anxieties, God does not need it to love us. At any given moment, whether we are mostly doubting or mostly believing, God’s love for us never changes. It is always full on and eternal.